The Consequences of Being Me
by ERidg17
Summary: This is how I came by my family, completely on accident. These are the events that lead up, ultimately, to my death. This is not a diary. It is a timeline of the events of my life. It is the explanation that everything has a consequence, as I know only too well. The consequence of being who I am, of being what I am, is death.


This is not a diary. It really isn't. It's not a journal either. It's a way of getting this weight off my chest, telling complete strangers my story and hoping that there will be no consequences.

I'm not naïve enough to believe that there will never be any consequences. I just hope that they are so far delayed that they will never happen.

It is a desperate hope.

Some of the events are current. Some happened months ago. All will be told in order, starting at the beginning.

It's been seven months since I met them. It's been the happiest, though the most bizarre and extraordinary, seven months of my life.

My story is a dangerous one, though it may not seem so. The truth is, I was in hiding when they saved me. Hiding from those who hunt my kind. It was - and still is - a hazardous game of cat-and-mouse, with dire consequences for all involved.

Consequences. My life so far can be summed up in after-effects and repercussions.

The after-effect of fleeing from a warring country is being hunted.

The repercussion of hiding is being sought out.

The consequence of being the King's daughter is being the most desired of them all.

The consequence of being who I am, of being what I am, is death.

Death is the yellow-eyed monsters that sniff us out. Death is the grimy hands closing around our throats, choking the life out of us. Death is what comes at the hands of an Executioner.

Have you ever been in a life or death situation? Where your heart slows to one beat per minute, then speeds up until it feels like there is a hummingbird trapped inside your chest? Where your lungs gasp for air, more air than you could ever inhale? When your eyes well up with tears, knowing that this might be your last minutes? When every regret, everything you could've done differently has flashed in your mind, sending deep, aching, ghosting pains through your chest?

It's the scariest thing I've ever experienced.

But I'm still young, only 17. And so far for me, being young, sweet 17 is nothing like the song.

_You are the Dancing Queen _  
_Young and sweet, only 17_  
_Dancing Queen_  
_Feel the beat from the tambourine_  
_You can dance_  
_You can jive_  
_Having the time of your life_

It has been good to me thus far, though it is nothing like people say it is. I'm the happiest I've been in ages, though I'm still hiding, still cowering behind the curtain of the ordinary, everyday people, still terrified for my life and what would happen if they found me.

I would be responsible for the death of the three that have made me happiest.

That thought alone sends shivers down my back. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, makes the room 15 degrees colder. The urge to do one more check of the windows and doors presses at the back of my mind.

I know that the doors are all dead bolted, and the windows are locked. That the alarms are set. I have nothing to worry about.

What a comforting, albeit hopeless, thought.

I will always have something to worry about.

As long as I am hunted, as long as I am hiding, as long as I am cowering. As long as I'm an Elementist.

As long as I am Princess Kiyomi Nakamura, death will always be close on my heels.

If they find me, I cannot run. If I run, I would be leaving them defenseless. The Executioners leave a trail as they follow you, one of death and destruction and guilt and mourning.

I can tell when they've found one of our kind, because it will be featured on the news. Another town rampaged. Several more humans dead, ripped apart by the most violent, brutal, and cunning serial killer Japan has seen.

I will not be responsible for the deaths of my friends. I've failed once at saving my family.

I won't do it again.

Family is a funny word. Most often, the word bring to mind bickering siblings that may not like each other, but always love each other, of worrying mothers and stern but playful fathers. Of wise grandparents. Or, if you're blessed enough, it bring to mind those steadfast, loyal friends. The ones who may tease you, but are always there to defend you against someone else's teasing. Because nobody besides them is allowed to make fun of you.

I view my family as both.

One one side are my parents. Queen Mei and King Aiji. My sisters Natsuko and Raiko. My little brother, Ataru.

One the other side, I have my friends. Ayame, Hatori, and Shigure Sohma.

What a wonderful family. I couldn't ask for more.

I lost my sisters when we split up in the woods, running in different directions. I still have my brother, though. And what a sweet thing he is.

I know my parents are alive, being held captive. For what reason, I can't say.

I will do my best to describe the event of my life in a fair light, as detailed as I can. But my memory is faulty, so at times I might fail. I will try my best to tell you the complete, honest truth of how I found family in the three most unexpected people I would have thought.

Because if they ever see this, which I'm sure they will, they deserve to know exactly what was going through my mind, or what exactly I had in mind.

But it is late, and I can hear Ataru stirring.

I cannot be held accountable for what happens to you after this, if you spread the word and you are hunted down for your knowledge.

If being filled with knowledge and dangerous secrets appeals to you, then by all means read on.

Don't say I didn't warn you.


End file.
